How to Talk About Anxiety: Openers, Asking for Help, and Supporting Others

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Talking about anxiety can feel tough, especially when the words don’t come easily or you’re not sure how people will respond. But opening up about what you’re feeling can be one of the most powerful steps you take, and you don’t have to do it all at once.

Why it’s important to talk about anxiety

Anxiety can make it hard to talk about how you’re really feeling. It might bring up fear, self-doubt, or the sense that you have to keep it all to yourself. But opening up at your own pace can be a meaningful step toward feeling less alone. You deserve to be supported, and sharing what you’re going through can lead to a deeper connection, more understanding, and a growing sense of relief. The more we understand our experiences, the less power they tend to hold.

How to explain anxiety to other people

Explaining anxiety can feel like trying to describe a storm only you can see. You might look calm on the outside, even when your heart is racing or your thoughts are spinning. That disconnect can make it hard for others to understand what you’re going through, especially when they can’t see the physical signs. You deserve to be heard, and you don’t have to explain it perfectly to be understood.

Simple ways to start the conversation

Talking about anxiety doesn’t have to be all or nothing. You don’t need a script; you just need a starting point. Sharing even a small piece of what you’re feeling can open the door to connection, understanding, and support.

Once you feel ready, it can help to use clear, relatable examples. You might try saying things like:

• “I feel anxious at restaurants.”
• “I’m worried all the time.”
• “Lately I’ve been feeling on edge, and I’m not sure why.”

You can also use metaphors to explain how it feels. Like your brain is a car stuck in high gear, or your body’s alarm won’t turn off. These can help others understand something that’s hard to put into words.

It may also help to describe how anxiety shows up in your life. Not sleeping well, canceling plans, or struggling to focus are a few notable symptoms. This helps others see that what you’re going through is real, even if it’s invisible from the outside.

You don’t have to say everything at once. Just enough to let someone in. That’s often where support begins. It can lead to more honest, grounded connections over time.

How to ask for support when you’re anxious

When anxiety is high, asking for help can feel almost impossible. You might worry about being a burden or feel unsure about what kind of support you need. That’s a common feeling. But needing support doesn’t make you weak; it makes you human. You’re not a burden, and you’re not alone.

Start by thinking about what usually helps you. Maybe it’s someone sitting with you quietly, talking you through breathing exercises, or helping with a task.

“It’s not always easy to ask for help when anxiety takes hold,” says Stacy Thiry, LMHC, a licensed mental health clinician with Grow Therapy. You might worry about being a burden or that others won’t understand. But reaching out is important, and you deserve support.

Even something simple and direct can make a big difference. You could say, “I’m feeling really anxious right now, and I could use someone to talk to,” or “Would you mind sitting with me for a bit?” Thiry adds that most people want to help. You just might have to let them know how.

Talking to your doctor about anxiety

If anxiety is getting in the way of your daily life, it’s a good idea to bring it up with your doctor. Struggling with sleep, work, or relationships are all valid reasons to ask for help.

You might also notice physical symptoms, like chest tightness, shortness of breath, or fatigue. These can all be linked to anxiety, but it’s important to rule out medical causes as well, especially if the symptoms are intense or ongoing.

Talking with a primary care provider is often the first step in understanding what’s going on. They can help you figure out if it is a condition like generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder, or panic disorder.

How to prepare

Preparing for a conversation with your health care provider can help you feel more confident and make sure you don’t forget anything important. Your provider will look at how long your symptoms have been happening, how much they affect your daily life, and whether they may be part of a specific anxiety disorder. You don’t need perfect answers or clinical terms. You just need a clear, honest picture of what you’ve been experiencing. Here are some ways to prepare:

1. Write down your symptoms

Include what you’ve been feeling (physically, emotionally, and mentally), when the symptoms started, how often they occur, and how intense they feel. Make a note if there are patterns like symptoms worsening at night, around certain people, or during specific times of the month.

2. Track how anxiety is affecting your daily life

Share specific examples of how anxiety is interfering with your sleep, work, relationships, appetite, or focus. Providers look for patterns of disruption, not just isolated moments of distress.

3. Make a list of what you’ve tried so far

This can include coping methods like breathing exercises, journaling, movement, or mindfulness practices, as well as substance use. Let your provider know if you’ve been using alcohol, cannabis, or other substances to manage your anxiety. You won’t be judged. This context just helps them better understand your needs.

4. Mention any related mental health history

If you’ve ever experienced depression, trauma, eating disorders, or other mental health concerns, let your provider know. This includes past treatment, therapy, or medications. These details help guide an accurate diagnosis and care plan.

• Bring questions or treatment preferences
• What type of treatment do you recommend for my symptoms?
• What are the pros and cons of medication?
• How long does therapy usually take to start working?
• Can we combine therapy with lifestyle changes?
• Are there options for virtual care?

What to expect from your provider

When you talk to your doctor or therapist, they’ll listen to your concerns and will ask questions to try and better understand what you’re experiencing. They’ll likely want to learn about your medical history, lifestyle, and what stresses you out, since these all play a role in your mental health. From there, you’ll work together to figure out the best next steps. That might include:

• Starting therapy
• Exploring medication
• Ordering lab tests to rule out possible medical contributors (such as thyroid dysfunction or vitamin deficiencies)
• Referring you to a mental health specialist

This conversation is just the beginning. You don’t have to solve everything in one visit. Simply showing up and being honest about what you’re feeling is a powerful act of care.

How to support someone else with anxiety

If someone you care about is struggling with anxiety, one of the best things you can do is try to understand what they are going through. Remember, you don’t need to say the perfect thing. Your willingness to listen and be there is already powerful support.

Understanding your partner’s anxiety

Anxiety in a relationship can be confusing. You might notice your loved one avoiding certain places, seeming irritable, or pulling away emotionally. It is easy to take these behaviors personally, but they are often not about you. These may be signs of anxiety, even if they don’t seem obvious at first.

Thiry explains that when a partner has anxiety, “It can sometimes feel like you’re speaking different languages. You don’t have to fix it, you just have to be there. Listen without judgment. Offer support without pressure and try not to take it personally if they need space. Anxiety can make even small things feel huge, and your patience and understanding can be incredibly grounding.”

She suggests a simple yet powerful question: “How can I support you right now?” to show that “you’re in their corner, even when things get tough.”

“You don’t have to fix it. You just have to be there.” – Stacy Thiry, LMHC

What not to say to someone with anxiety

Even well-meaning comments can sometimes hurt. Saying things like “Just try to calm down,” “Do you think you’re overreacting?” or “It’s not that big of a deal” can make someone feel dismissed or ashamed. These phrases may come from a desire to help, but they can leave someone feeling dismissed or misunderstood. As Thiry explains, even the best intentions can fall flat when someone is in the middle of intense anxiety.

She cautions that “When someone is experiencing anxiety, well-meaning words can sometimes do more harm than good. Anxiety isn’t something you can just switch off. It’s real, and it’s consuming.

Instead, try saying, ‘I’m here for you,’ or ‘That sounds really hard, how can I help?’ A little bit of compassion goes a long way when someone is feeling overwhelmed.”

How to set boundaries around someone else’s anxiety

Caring for someone with anxiety does not mean ignoring your own needs. It is okay to set limits, especially if you feel overwhelmed or emotionally drained. Boundaries help both people thrive. Your role here is to care and support, not to fix or diagnose. If a loved one relies only on you instead of seeking professional support, the relationship can become unbalanced.

Thiry reminds you that “Supporting someone with anxiety is important, but it’s equally vital to know your own limits. When support becomes enabling or starts to feel draining, it’s time to set boundaries.” She adds, “Communicate these boundaries with empathy. Let your loved one know that you care, but also need to take care of your own mental health.”

For example, you might say, “I want to support you, but I also need some time to recharge,” or “I’m here to listen, and could also help you find a professional to talk to.”

Why it’s important to set boundaries

Taking care of yourself allows you to be there for others in a sustainable way. If your own mental health begins to suffer, consider talking to a therapist or joining a support group. Boundaries do not mean you care less. They can support you in being a good friend or family member, helping you show up with more presence and compassion over time.

What to do if someone is having a panic attack

If someone you care about is experiencing what they believe is a panic attack, your calm presence can make a big difference. However, if symptoms are severe, new, or you’re unsure whether it’s a medical emergency (such as a heart problem), seek immediate medical help.

Stay grounded, speak softly, and remind them to breathe. Try not to push or overwhelm them. Just let them know you’re there. A simple phrase like “I’m here if you want to talk or take a break” can offer comfort. You can also ask, “Would it help if I sat with you for a few minutes?” Keep your tone gentle and your body language calm. Your presence might be exactly what they need in that moment.

If their anxiety continues to interfere with daily life, it may be a good time to gently talk about therapy as an option.

Tips for talking about anxiety with kids or teens

Kids and teens experience anxiety just like adults do, but they may not have the language to express it. Talking about it with them can feel delicate, but with care, these conversations can build trust, emotional awareness, and a sense of safety. Just showing up with curiosity and compassion makes a difference.

Here are some ways to gently start the conversation:

Choose calm, quiet moments

Pick a quiet moment when they’re already relaxed, like during a walk, car ride, or bedtime routine. This may help them feel less “on the spot” and more open to talking.

Use simple, age-appropriate language

Use words that match their age or level of understanding. This makes it easier for them to follow along and feel supported.

For younger kids, you can say something like,

• “Anxiety is what we feel when our body thinks something scary might happen, even if it’s not really scary.”

For teens, you could talk about how anxiety can feel overwhelming or heavy, even when the cause isn’t obvious. Using analogies or metaphors they relate to can help normalize and validate their experience. You can try mentioning:

• “My brain won’t shut off.”
• “It’s like my body’s stuck in overdrive.”

Reassure them that it’s okay to feel this way

Let them know it’s okay to feel worried or nervous. Avoid rushing to “fix” it. Often, what kids need most is someone who will listen and stay present with them. You might say:

• “It makes sense that you’re feeling this way.”
• “You’re not alone. Lots of people feel this, too.”

Be curious, not corrective. Instead of trying to reassure them with, “Don’t worry about that,” try asking questions. This can help them feel seen and encourage the development of their emotional awareness. For example, you can ask:

• “What does that feel like in your body?”
• “What helps you feel safe when you feel this way?”

Model your own emotional language

If you’re comfortable, share how you handle your own stress or anxiety. This shows them that anxiety is a normal part of being human, and it’s something they can learn to manage. You can try saying:

• “Sometimes I feel anxious, too. Deep breathing really helps me calm down.”

When to call your child’s doctor

It’s normal for kids to worry sometimes, but if anxiety starts to interfere with daily life, it may be time to talk to their pediatrician. Some signs include:

• Trouble sleeping
• Changes in appetite
• Struggles with school performance
• Strained friendships or family relationships
• Frequent unexplained physical complaints (like headaches or stomachaches)

Your pediatrician can help rule out medical causes and decide if a referral to a pediatric mental health specialist would be helpful.

Why these conversations matter

When kids and teens know they can talk to you about what’s going on inside, it lays the foundation for long-term emotional health. Even small, everyday conversations, built on trust and openness, can help them feel supported and understood. Over time, this can help boost confidence in talking about their feelings.

Frequently asked questions

Should I tell people about my anxiety?

Yes, telling someone about your anxiety can be an important step toward feeling supported and understood. You don’t have to share with everyone; you can start with someone you trust. Opening up can reduce worries of shame, strengthen relationships, and even help you get the care you need.

What can I text to someone who’s feeling anxious?

Keep it simple when texting someone who is feeling anxious. Be supportive and non-judgmental. A few good options are:

• “I’m here for you. Want to talk or just sit together for a bit?”
• “That sounds really tough. Do you want to take a break or breathe together?”
• “No pressure to reply. Just wanted to say I’m thinking of you and you’re not alone.”

What’s the best way to explain anxiety to someone who doesn’t get it?

The best way to explain anxiety to someone who doesn’t get it is to use clear, relatable language. You might say something like, “Even when everything looks fine, my mind is racing with anxious thoughts and my body feels tense. It’s like I’m always bracing for danger.” Sharing the emotional and physical side of anxiety can help others understand it’s more than just worry.

How do I tell my partner I have anxiety?

Start with honesty and keep it simple when telling your partner you have anxiety. You can say, “I’ve been feeling anxious lately, and I want to share that with you.” Choose a calm moment, and focus on how anxiety shows up for you. It’s okay if you don’t have all the answers. Connection matters more than a perfect explanation.

How do you comfort someone with anxiety over text?

To comfort someone with anxiety over text, use clear, supportive language. Try: “I know things feel overwhelming right now. I’m here for you.” Offer presence and reassurance. Give them options like breathing together or stepping away from a stressful situation.

What should you not say to someone with anxiety?

Avoid phrases like “Just calm down,” “It’s all in your head,” or “You’re overreacting” when talking to someone with anxiety. These can feel dismissive and worsen anxiety.

Instead, try saying, “That sounds really hard. I’m here for you,” or “Would it help to talk or take a break?”

How do you ask someone if they’re okay with anxiety?

When asking someone with anxiety if they’re okay, be gentle and open. You might say, “I’ve noticed you’ve seemed a little off lately, do you want to talk?” or “Is there anything on your mind? I’m here if you need anything.” Even if they don’t open up right away, your support still matters.

Can talking about anxiety make it worse?

No, talking about anxiety usually doesn’t make it worse. In most cases, talking about anxiety helps. It gives your thoughts a place to go and helps you feel less alone. Avoiding the conversation can actually increase anxiety. If the topic feels overwhelming, start small or talk to a therapist first.

What if someone doesn’t want to talk about their anxiety?

When someone doesn’t want to talk about their anxiety, respect their boundaries, but let them know you care. Try saying, “I understand if you’re not ready to talk, but I’m here when you are.” Keep showing up in quiet, steady ways because your presence and patience go a long way.